Pavlina: Life is Not For the Living

Is it depression? You know, I’m not sure. We all get bombarded with so many ads on the television trying to cure us of depression and anxiety. I often wonder, are that many people truly depressed? Is it more of a problem these days that it was before? There must be a lot of money in the pharmaceutical market for “feel” good drugs.

Personally speaking, I don’t like taking medication. Sure, I’ll take an Advil when I get a headache, a Claritin when my allergies act up, and I take medicine for my asthma and allergies everyday in the form of a mouth and nasal inhaler, respectively. I am a bit leery to take something that can modify my entire personality, but if my personality needed modification….

I was in a bit of a funk the last few days. I think it was initially brought on my poor Martin getting too friendly with some poison ivy. He already has the most sensitive skin of anyone in the family so it really hit him hard. Of course he would scratch in his sleep and wake up crying from the pain. Poor guy. This meant for like three nights in a row I got very little uninterrupted sleep. It was beginning to feel like back in the days of babies where I actually would dread going to bed at night because I knew I wouldn’t get any sleep. The thing about me and sleep is this: I need lots of it. Like 8 hours minimum and I am always willing to get more. So after three nights of little sleep I was getting psychotic anyway. Then I still had poor little Martin to look after, the Nanny was being a complete idiot (sorry, must be said) and was wearing latex gloves and I overheard her telling Martin not to touch her. WTF? See, I get all mad and seeing red just thinking about it. I can add it to the list of things she does that I find completey pointless and ridiculous. Of course, we are all entitled to these small acts, but you know.

I got a bit sidetracked there. So I’m tired, Martin is sick, Nanny is an idiot, Jason is in Asia, washing machine breaks. Damn. I remember at one point Sunday morning, sitting on the floor of my bedroom and I was so tired. It was like depression (or whatever it was I was going through) was a large fluffy bed and I was on it fighting to get out and stay awake. The feeling/bed just was so nice and comfy that it was overwhelming me. Like that. “Damn,” I thought. I got up and went about my business, but I never even left the house on Sunday (yesterday). I didn’t even do any laundry (couldn’t, washing machine is broke). I did clean the floors…and that was it. Couldn’t even be bothered to make dinner. We had leftovers.

Whenever I get to feeling this way, I always wonder why? Why now? I got too much to do. I had promised the kids I would take them to the aquarium, but I never did. The kids ended up watching hours and hours of TV, and I couldn’t even be bothered to feel bad about it.

Maybe I was just tired…I don’t know. I’ll let you know what works.

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I see my Wordpress article got posted over at Geek Girls Network. I couldn’t NOT write this up after my own issues with getting up to speed on Wordpress. I like to think I am pretty handy with the press, no? Click over there and read it, or just read it below.

WordPress is hands-down the leader for web publishing. It is the Mac-daddy, the best, and the most awesome. I started out my wee home on the internet with blogspot account, then that turned into Blogger (owned by Google) and I just didn’t have the freedom there to do what I wanted very easily. I am no code master. To this day when I need to change my template I have a list of resources that I must go-to for the proper code. Whoa, let me back up. Templates, did I say? Yes. Template. Welcome to the world of WordPress.

What is WordPress? if you go to the Wordpress home, it says:

WordPress is a state-of-the-art publishing platform with a focus on aesthetics, web standards, and usability. WordPress is both free and priceless at the same time.

More simply, WordPress is what you use when you want to work with your blogging software, not fight it.

I love that. Truer words were never typed. If you want a way to put what you want out there on the internet without having to worry about the backend, WordPress is what you want. At this point, I must assume that you are in agreement with me. You have downloaded and installed WordPress on your host server, you have found a template you like, and now you are staring at the dashboard wondering how what you do here will affect how your blog looks on the other side. If you haven’t done any of those other steps yet, please go do them now. I’ll wait for you.

When you download WordPress there will be many links telling you how to do it, how to upload to your host (FileZilla is your friend), and how to get started using your first theme. There are literally hundreds of sites out there with ready to go themes. Myself, I love Cutline and Cutline is what you see now, here, with your eyeballs on my website. Beautiful, No? Themes are a bit personal, and I won’t get into how to pick a theme right now, I’ll just have to assume you have found one to your liking and you have also uploaded that theme to your server.

The Dashboard.

I love the new dashboard. I can’t remember which revision gave us the striking view that we see now, but it is lovely and oh so very easy to use. A properly configured dashboard will make the care and feeding of your new home on the internet a pleasure to visit rather than a torture session. The first thing to do after gazing upon its beauty is to go to Appearance and select Themes. This will bring up where you select your new theme. The default WordPress theme will be here, along with the new one you just uploaded. Go ahead and select it. You can also edit your theme by selecting Editor. Now, I did mention I am no code master but I did make some changes to the code of my template. I use cutline and it is a highly customizable theme and it was very easy for me to do this. Even so, there was a lot of back and forth between editing the code of the template then checking my blog so this leads right into the big question, Which plugins should I use? I’ll tell you.

Eight Plugins no one should live without.

1. Theme Test drive gets the number one position because if you make any changes to your templates files, then theme test drive allows you to view the changes while the rest of the world sees your blog as it is. You can make changes invisibly if you will. This is so important, as anyone who has made a little change such as the width of a border that throws everything out of whack can attest to. If you are going to make any changes to your template, you need this plugin. Period.
2. Askimet gets number two because if you publish a blog, you will get comment spam. Even if you have a small readership you still don’t want the spammers take your blog over, or you don’t want to wade through dozens to hundreds of comments in moderation. Spam looks bad because new readers to your site will be turned off if they see a lot of comment spam there. It makes a blog look unkempt and dirty.
3. WordPress database backup. Remember how I said I wasn’t a code master? Well, for a time it seemed like every time I logged into the dashboard, it was time to upgrade to a new version of Wordpress. When you upgrade, which is like a mini-reinstall of WordPress on your servers, it’s always a good idea to make a backup of your databases because this is the data that makes up your blog. I never liked the cumbersome process of logging into my host, then making the database backup, then exporting and saving it somewhere safe. This plugin will automatically make a backup for you either on demand or on a schedule, then you can also email a copy to yourself. I have mine sent to a gmail account, so unless both my host and gmail go down at the same time, I’m covered. If they do go down at the same time, the Zombie apocalypse has arrived, and I won’t care about my database.

Now for the rest, in no particular order

4. WordPress.com stats is a nice way to track your traffic on your dashboard. This will require you to get a WordPress.com account. I use this in addition to my Sitemeter account and Google Analytics. You can never have too many ways to track your traffic. This is important as it will tell you things like how people are finding your blog.
5. Rss Footer I just enabled this on my blog and have not yet realized the fruit of my labors yet. This plugin allows you to add an extra line of whatever you want into your RSS feed.
6. Google Sitemaps creates a sitemap for Google. I have a sitemap generated by my theme, but I also use this one. Maybe you have gotten the feeling that I appreciate redundancy.
7. All in one SEO pack is incredibly useful. Since I have enabled this on my blog, I get quite a lot of search hits and I don’t believe it is a coincidence this occurred after I enabled this. It is very easy to use, and adds right onto the post area of the dashboard, then you populate it as you write your post. Nice.
8. Flickr RSS is really only necessary if you have a Flickr account you want to link to your blog. So while not absolutely necessary, it is very nice. This creates a small, unobtrusive set of images in your sidebar.

Once you download these, you then put them in the plugins directory of your server. When you log into the dashboard, they should all be there waiting for you under Plugins. Any settings you need to make can be done here. The other very nice thing is when it comes time to upgrade your plugins, WordPress will let you know. When you log into the dashboard, there will be a circled number letting you know how many plugins need attention. You open your plugins, and you can automatically upgrade just like that. Plugins give you the most bang for your buck when it comes to tweaking your site. Most themes come ready for this type of tweaking, so even if your theme doesn’t support Gravatars for example, you can get a plug in to add Gravatar support to your theme. Let me know when you find it.

So now you have your tweaked theme, you have some plugins, now you should adjust your widgets. Widgets are also under Appearance, widgets are built right into the WordPress. This would allows for rudimentary tweaking to the site. The widgets will populate the sidebar in your theme, so choose wisely. If you select them all you will have a sidebar a mile long, a personal pet-peeve of mine. Just say no. You can also get rid of that freshman meta log-in. Bookmark (or memorize) the URL of your site. Some plugins will add as a widget, such as Askimet and FlickrRSS. I personally think many of these widgets can be handled more elagantly through a good template and plugin use. Widgets have their place and allow for some easy ways to add say, text at the top of your sidebar without having to go into the actual code of the theme. It’s your choice.

Okay, so now that I’ve talked about the Dashboard and why you should love it, the difference between plugins and widgets, the last thing I want to mention are Permalinks. A permalink is the line that shows up in the browser’s address bar, it’s usually something like “http://www.blog.com/why-I-love-cake/’. Permalinks are the permanent URL of your blog post, thus you really want something a search engine can grab hold of and send out to the masses, so to speak. In other words, you really want your permalinks to be ‘pretty’, like my example above, instead of “http://www.blog.com/3274672ccxdn78/” which is a hot mess. This is so very easy to do in WordPress. Simply go to your dashboard, select Permalinks under the Settings. This will bring your permalinks section, then what I do is link my permalinks to my blog title, but you can also use keywords, tags, categories or whatever you want. I use the Custom Structure radio button and in the filed I have “/%postname%/” which pulls my title and drops it into the permalink. As soon as I type my blog title into the post filed, this permalink is populated. Now, a word of warning. If for whatever reason you do not put a title in right away, but start typing your blog entry, the permalink will populate with a generic number that you will then have to go back and fix. Otherwise, I find this an incredibly useful way of both assigning your permalinks while increasing your blog traffic.

So hopefully that is enough to get you started on the way to getting a pimped out blog. If you find this interesting at all, please drop me a line and let me know. I’ll be more than happy to share my Power to the people, from the people, for the people philosophy of WordPress.

Resources:

• Css Cheat Sheat
• html kit for heavy duty CSS work
• HTML resource, the W3 schools is also a great resource for CSS, XML, PHP, Javascript, etc. Consider it your go-to home for all things web related.
• Cutline Theme, the greated them ever. nuff’ said.
• Sitemeter, for basic traffic analysis
• Google analyticsis the best place for traffic analysis, and if you are like most of use, you already have the Google account you’ll need to get started.
• WordPress Codex, for all your WordPress questions.
• last but not least, The WordPress forums, in case yor questions weren’t answered by any of the above.

Tags:   WordpressNo Comments.

As part of the Steampunk homage, I’ll link to this video I found on you-tube of one of my favorite bands. Enjoy.

Tags:   steampunkNo Comments.

Thinking out in the long term, I am thinking of my next big thing. My muse is this…

From the side

detail

and the lovely back

Isn’t that the cutest thing? It’s the only thing I spent any money on at Balticon this year, and so worth it. I wish I had the woman’s name who made these, she had several of them, all very cute. Wearable art, don’t you think? These colors really spoke to me and I knew this hat would be mine. So the idea is a neo-victorian-steamy-retro look.

A corset is a must…

I really like this one and it gets very high reviews. I think my sewing skills can handle a corset, and I happen to have a bit of white satin left over from a Halloween costume that I’ll make a first corset off. Nice.

Then, I didn’t want a plain stodgy (beautiful) Victorian gown. They are just too much. Too much fabric, too long, to cumbersome. I don’t really think a gal who is about to embark on all sorts of adventure can really go about in multiple layers of floor length gowns.

I think I do want to wear a chemise under the corset…

This pattern also has a corset, but the other one is much easier to make, if you track the comments about each. I really like the chemise in this pattern set though. Since my corset will have spiral steel boning, I won’t be able to wash it much and a chemise underneath is a must. Besides which, this is not a “modern” corset, which means that if I make it as drafted, it would be quite indecent to wear out in public, if you get my meaning. If I make it out of a nicer fabric, it will look less like underwear and more like a blouse.

Then, what to wear over the corset? I could wear nothing, but I saw this cute corset cover. It’s a bit over-frilly in this photo…

I could really make a nice fitted blouse from this, and if I work the neckline I could show a bit of the corset. Or maybe I could make a jacket…or a vest. Still not decided there yet. A vest is too casual, methinks.

Finally a skirt. I don’t want a long skirt. I like the draping on this one…

but I want the back much longer so I’ll need to extend it, and also the front a bit as well. This is a sort of apron meant to be worn over a much longer skirt. It is hard to tell form the design sketch, but it really is quite short.

But then I saw this overskirt and liked it much more, and I don’t think I will need to lengthen it at all.

You can really see the length quite well in this photo which I pulled from the Truly Victorian website.

You can see that this would be quite decent, and since I’m so short it would come to my knee probably.

The only issue with these skirts is that they both have quite a bit of pouf on the rear, and I will need to make some sort of bustle for it. I could go all out and make a proper “bustle petticoat”, but I may also be able to get away with some sort of “cushion”. I had considered making a crinoline, but that may not be sturdy enough to hold up that much fabric. Then I posted the question over on the Truly Victorian bulletin board and got a response that said I would make a shortened bustle/petticoat, and if I made it from a fashion fabric it could aslo serve as an underskirt…brilliant!

of course all this will need the perfect fabrics, so now I’ll have to turn my thoughts to finding some lovely burnt orange, brown and cream fabbrics and trim.

Tags:   costumes · Sewing · steampunkNo Comments.

I see my Wordpress article got posted over at Geek Girls Network. I couldn’t NOT write this up after my own issues with getting up to speed on Wordpress. I like to think I am pretty handy with the press, no? Click over there and read it.

If you don’t feel like doing that, I’ll put it here in a few days.

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I was on a mini holiday last week. Yes, this was after the big family holiday taken the week before that. I know, a lot of holiday. I took myself to Seattle to see my niece graduate from high school. I know, I’m not old enough to have a niece that old! Tee hee hee. Yes, I am.

She is a beautiful girl, as you can see. There I am with all my Auntie pride…

Isn’t she gorgeous? Oh so tall…

Watching the graduation and the energy coming from those young people was incredible. I would say if you are ever feeling down around May/June go to a high school graduation, it will definitely recharge your batteries. I looked out onto them. all those young faces full of pride, hope, eagerness, happiness. The parents and relatives and friends in the stands were full of pride, happiness, joy…it was a beautiful thing. I didn’t see a single melancholy face in the crowd.

Which makes you think of the question, what time can one be truly happy during life? Really, there aren’t that many moments of sheer happiness. Graduations, Weddings, Commencements, Religious milestones…the list is quite short. Sure there are plenty of times when we are happy, but then we always have something to distract us like the turkey in the oven or the mess to be cleaned. There just aren’t enough hands-down, throw care to the wind, happy-go-lucky times in our life. That’s a good thing or the laundry would never get done.

Even though it was my niece’s party some of that exuberance bleed from her to me. She was so excited I don’t even have the words to describe the feeling that night. Electric, charged, fulfillment were all there. I imagine every student from one of the twenty nine valedictorians to the poor soul who graduated at the bottom of the class (there has to be someone there) was happy that night.

I could say a lot about how the overachievers won’t get far in life or blah, blah, blah, but that would just cheapen the moment. It was beautiful

Tags:   Family · me!No Comments.

You all know that JC Hutchins is my buddy? My pal? He is one of the most talented writers of our generation and he has a new experience disguised as a book that was released today!

Remember the mom from the E.T.? She digs him too, but don’t listen to me. Hear her tell it.

Tags:   novel · novels · podcasts1 Comment

I went back and forth whether to publish this post or not. It is pretty negative for me, but I just need to get things off my chest.

So, my regular and not-so-regular visitors know that I have in my household: One mommy, one daddy, two children, one kitty and one nanny. So that is five humans and one cat. The cat is old, she is sixteen. The children are young, and both Jason and I work full time +. I add the plus because an added benefit to our jobs is a sizable travel burden coupled with rather non-standard working hours. With all this as a factor, we decided to hire a live-in nanny to look after the kids. There was no way we could find a decent daycare, as we are scattered to the winds as far as job location, and with the travel burden it never made sense to have the kids in a day care near my job or close to Jason’s job. What would happen when one of us was on travel? We do stagger our travel time so the nanny is never completely alone with the kids, one of us is always home. We hired a young girl she was 24 when she arrived two years ago. She is very quiet. I like this. I never wanted some noisy, bossy person in my house. Unfortunately she is almost too quiet. She pretty much stays in her room, except every now and then she hangs out and then it feels weird. We don’t live in a huge house, so there really isn’t that much space, KWIM (know what I mean)?

We went on holiday last week, and in a effort to be nice I asked if she wanted to go along. At first she said no, then she changed her mind and said yes. You know, I must be a glutton for punishment. So we had booked in this lovely Marriott property that was a timeshare resort. It was fantastic and it had two bedrooms and lots of living space. I guess I had thought she would be sharing with the kids, but she didn’t want to. Okay, I reasoned that she had paid her own air travel down, and she was mostly paying her food bill. Of course we were paying for the room, the extra car rental for we need a van, etc. never mind, she wants her own room. Luckily, there was a sofa bed and the kids slept on that.

Well, she just kind of lurked around the hotel room. Honestly, I hadn’t expected to see her much. I thought she would be out on the beach, or at the pool, etc. She just kind of shadowed us everywhere. Very weird. We didn’t do much, we had the little ones so it was like, beach, pool, room, watch TV, find food, sleep, TV, pool, beach, go to playground, food, etc. That kind of thing. When we went to the pool, she went to the pool. When we went to the beach, she went to the beach. One day she did her own thing. She went with us to the Everglades and even though I knew she wanted to go on an airboat tour, she never went. Jason and I didn’t want to take the young ones on the noisy boat ride, but the nanny could have went. It’s not like we would have left here there. She never “worked”.

It was just having her there was a bit weird. You know, it kind of felt like going on holiday with someone you’re dating. It always seems like when you get home you break up. I never noticed how lazy she was, for example. Then I recalled she always put the kids in the car to drive them to Emma’s school, even thought it is literally a block from the house. Like, a three minute walk. I always kind of bent over backwards for her, but then the light went on in my brain and I thought, “bad economy”. I’ll bet there are lots of nannies out there right now who need work. Why should I cater to her?

The other thing is that I am really getting sick of someone who is not related to us, living with us. It is getting old. Really old. The older the kids get, the older it gets. There we are, sitting down enjoying an evening of tuning out, and she pops out of her room to do laundry or log onto the computer. It’s just a jolt, but one you don’t really appreciate. Especially as these are the years where we get these long, free evenings. Soon they will be gone. Unfortunately, I just don’t see any other way to have childcare that will mesh with our life, plus get the in-home privacy we crave.

Listen, you didn’t come here to hear me moan about my child care situation. The take home message is this. Don’t ever take your nanny on vacation with you unless you intend her to work. Then it will be your vacation, not hers and you will have to pay her for the week + give her that time in vacation for herself. If you don’t intend for her to work, then don’t take her. Trust me on this.

I just re-read this, and I know it sounds like I intensely dislike the nanny. This is not true. The fact is I find some of her habits annoying. That is all.

Tags:   Family · travel2 Comments

Go get it! I did!

I kissed it, I can’t help myself.

Go out and support JC Hutchins, one of the coolest people ever!

I would check the websites or call first to make sure the book is in stock. You can always default to ordering online, but whatever you do, do it NOW!

Tags:   novelsNo Comments.

Look at me, dominating the tiny reptile.

Tags:   Family · photos1 Comment