Pavlina: Life is Not For the Living

Used to be, I would look forward to the Food Network’s 12 days of cookies. Now, well, now they are all just awful, boring cookies. I refer you to One year and two days ago when I felt a similar outrage. I guess the fun is over, the check has been written and now we are propagating crap cookies to the masses. Curse you, Food Network!!!

The 12 days of (crappy) cookies
1. Gingerbread Cookies for the Holidays : Verdict? OK. s’allright, kind of a variation on a Gingerbread cookie. If you don’t already have a decent recipe, this one is probably worth a try. Personally, I use the one from King Arthur flour, but that’s just me.
2. Dried Cherry and Almond Cookies with Vanilla Icing : Verdict? Maybe. My family is not so great on the fruit and nut combo so this is not for us. I checked over the recipe and it does look okay, and the cookies do look pretty.
   
3. The Neelys’ Butter Cookies : Verdict? OK. s’allright, yet another sugar cookie recipe. I’m sure they are fine, the most important things with sugar cookies if more technique than recipe. Make sure the oven is at the right temp, don’t use hot cookie pans, make sure the dough is chilled, try not to re-roll the cookie dough more than three times, etc. I already have a sugar cookie recipe so I won’t be trying this one.
4. Hazelnut-Chocolate Linzer Cookies : Verdict? FAIL. Food Network, stop trying to pass off non-Linzer variations as Linzer! Linzer MUST have hazlenuts and raspberry. Period. Accept no substitutes. Call these Nutella cookies instead.
5. Cinnamon-Spiced Hot Chocolate Cookies : Verdict? Nope. If I wanted spiced hot chocolate I would go make some. Come on, this is the HOLIDAYS! Spiced hot cocoa is a dime a dozen, why do I need to make these cookies to fill a gap that is already filled?!? They even loook…strange…a waste of yummy Dulce de Leche if you ask me (and I think you just did).
6. Citrus Trio Butter Dipping Cookies : Verdict? OK. s’allright I guess. Actually they do look quite nice…. I couldn’t figure out the trio part until I read the recipe, then discovered one is meant to add the zest from a lime, lemon and orange. Phew! I’m sure these are good and yummy, but I don’t think they are “special” enough for Holiday cookie season.
7. Oatmeal Cream Cheese Butterscotch Bars : Verdict? Yummy! These look quite tasty, I love bars of this type. Unfortunately no-one else in my family does so it usually means I end up throwing half a pan out and I no longer makes bars . Tell me how they were.
8. Johnny’s Impossible Tawdry Mexican Wedding Cookies : Verdict? Strange. Really, I just don’t understand these. Why are they tawdry? They do have rather unconventional ingredients, like tapioca starch and maple syrup. Well, okay, Whatever. Wow, this is the third recipe this year that falls into the “if you already have a tried and true recipe no need to change but if you really need one, here it is”. Ditto. What she said.
9. Orange Currant Polenta Cookies : Verdict? Neutral. I read this recipe and it just does not speak to me, I have no interest to see what a orange, currant and polenta cookie would taste like. They don’t look terrible interesting…Actually they look a bit like chocolate chip cookies.
10. Sunny’s Crunchy Peanut Butter S’more Bites Verdict? *Yawn* No interest. No thanks.
11. Classic Shortbread Cookies in 4 Ingredients with added 1 ingredient Variations : Verdict? Ok. S’allright, I guess. Maybe they should rename this 12 days of familiar cookies, or 12 days of easy and fun cookies, or 12 days of old standby cookies. For the fourth time we have a standard shortbread recipe, the “classic twist” is they have added 1 ingredient variations to get a whole new taste experience! actually the chai sounds quite yummy. This could be added to the possible list, but my holiday baking card is full and this just isn’t unique enough for me.
12. White Peppermint Snowballs : Verdict? FAIL! I suppose it just can’t be 12 days of cookies without the addition of a recipe that revolves around store-bought cookie dough. Oh you didn’t know? I am a full on baking snob and I can’t remember the last time I bought refrigerated dough. Yuk. Yuk. Yuk. Please don’t tell me that not everyone has the time to make homemade cookie dough and etc. Listen, if you don’t have the time to get off your butt and prioritize then just go to the bakery, but you’ll probably just go to the bakery section of the grocery store (cuz’ you ain’t got the time, yo!) and buy some cookies. They will be nicer than these. Sugar cookies with crushed candy canes. At least the list finished off with a bang, or a fizzle.

What can I say? Lets tally the votes! We got 4 Ok, s’allrights, 2 FAILS, 1 maybe, 1 yawn, 1 neutral, 1 nope, 1 strange, 1 yummy. That’s a bit discombobulated. We’ll call it 4 Oks, 4 neutral, 2 Fails, 1 strange, and 1 yummy.

Overall, Pass.

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