Was I asleep or something? Okay, lets be honest. I used to freely throw it around. It was all, “F**k this,” and “F**k that,” and “Did you see that f**king thing.” I never used the word in front of my Grandmother, I wouldn’t use it in front of the Queen, so why should I use it at all? I gradually began cutting it out of my language, because I only ever used it for the shock value. It never really did modify the noun it was meant to, rather it was like a spicy, hot pepper. I needed a real adjective to properly use the F-bomb. It was all just show, pizazz, just spice if you will. Try it. Now. Turn to the person unfortunate enough to be sitting next to you and say, “Did you see that f**king thing?”
You’ll most likely be met by a blank stare unless some spectacular thing is indeed in full view, in which case you didn’t really need the modifier as, “Did you see that thing?” would have worked.
No, most likely after the person says, “What f**king thing are you talking about, the green f**king thing, or the small f**king thing?” , then you will have to say, “Oh, I mean the green f**king thing, did you see it?”
The person will most likely say, “Well, next time make sure you let me know what f**king thing you’re talking about.” Yikes. I hope you’re still friends after that. I think I made my point. You don’t really need the F-bomb. Even if it is really green, the brightest green you ever saw you still don’t need to say, “Did you see that green f**king thing?” because it will offend at least one person around you. I promise. “Did you see that bright green thing? Holy cow, that must be the brightest, loudest green I have ever seen!”, works grand. Even though “we” all use the F-bomb with wild abandon these days, not everyone does. The day I get home and the nanny says to me, “The kids knocked the f**king thing off the wall,” that will be her last day working for me.
I say this because I was doing a bit of blog-rolling today. You know, checking out the blogs listed on other peoples blogs. Harmless. I was eating lunch, and it was yummy, not f**king yummy, just yummy. I clicked on four blogs I think and began reading a few posts here and there and I came upon the F-bomb multiple times. Why do we now write the F-bomb? Why? Can you tell me why? Usually when I read the F-bomb this tells me, “here is a person who does not care she could be offending people, and too bad for her as I won’t be reading it ever again.”
Now, I don’t mean just using the the F-bomb is enough to turn me off but it is usually in the sentiment of what is described. Point being, it is an ugly word and it usually reflects ugliness. Most people wouldn’t say it in front of their Grandmother, so why put it out there for everyone to read? Would you say it to your boss? Would you say it to your child? I hope not, but maybe you would. Indeed, if the f-bomb has just become another adjective for you and it does not add the spice, or the pizazz, then I have nothing to say to you. Happy f-bombing. Strangely enough, this kind of use really doesn’t offend me. If I meet someone, and they are all, “Howdy Pavlina, nice to f**king meet you!” then go on to describe their day, “then I got on the f**king bus, and it was so slow, I had to get off the f**king thing and walk 10 f**king blocks. By the time I got to work, I was so f**king late, I told my boss, “hey bossman, sorry I’m f**king late but the bus was f**ked.” and he was cool with that. F**k yeah.” Hey, it was a verb in that sentence! This kind of use does not offend me. This person is using it to spice thing up, otherwise the story would have been very dull, indeed.
Okay, the trip to Meanderville was nice, time to get back to the subject. Why are these I am sure, perfectly nice women, using such filthy language on their blogs? I don’t dare to leave a comment to the effect, that is considered poor commenting etiquette, after all their blog is their personal space, their embassy on foreign land. I can’t go in there all, “you should clean up this potty language. Kiss your mother with that mouth, do you?” I couldn’t even imagine the barrage of negativity I would get back, yes the BAD KARMA that would ensue as it would be bad. You know I believe in the Karma, right? The Karma, the Ju-Ju, I don’t want the bad stuff, only the good stuff. If that makes me a goody two shoes, then so be it. I kiss my baby with this mouth.
Tags: language2 Comments
2 responses so far ↓
Surely it is off the wall, dear.
“The kids knocked the f**king thing of the wall,” Is that why the nanny is going?
Indeed it is, “off the wall”, thanks for noticing.