Treat me badly!

I know I have ranted about poor customer service before. It is terrible to be the victim of bad customer service. Standing as the random victim, caught in an act relatively routine. Perhaps it was the return of an unwanted/unintended item, or more information was needed, maybe there was an error on the bill, or were charged too much, maybe there was a foreign object in the product. Used to be, THE CUSTOMER WAS ALWAYS RIGHT. Period.

Now it’s more like, the customer is right on adjacent Tuesdays in the leap year cycle, for the time interval of 1:59 to 2:03 GMT. This is null and void if the premises is located in the greater European region, the time interval is then from 6:01 – 7:59 GMT -6. During this time, the customer will be right, at all other times the establishment will be right and may kick the customer in the teeth with no recourse. Complain as you will.


Now, I know I wrote that tongue-in-cheek, but doesn’t it really feels like it?

I firmly adhere to the belief that the recent (last ten years) decline in customer service is directly correlated to the rise of the internet and the anonymity enjoyed by billions. People get so used to trashing other people with no recourse it’s only a matter of time before that behavior begins bleeding over into “real life”. Maybe that is one reason I am always saying preaching (over and over, till I’m blue in the face) that we must all play nicely on the internet and NOT SPREAD VITRIOL!!!

The economy is in the crapper, you would think retail establishments would be wooing customers, not treating them like something they scraped off the bottom of their shoe. So let’s list the key players of customer service (CS) abuse:

  1. My break started 2 minutes ago. In this CS mishap, the perpetrator will do anything to get you out of their hair as fast as possible. An example could be if you are trying to return something, all of a sudden the store has mysterious return policies where you also need to show your driving permit that expired 20 years ago to bring back the pair of shorts you bought and only realized after you got them home they are two sizes too small.
  2. My SO just dumped me. Good luck. That’s all I have to say. You are at this person’s mercy. This is the equivalent of a suicide bomber. This person feels like they have nothing to live for and their last mission is to make everyone else around them as miserable as they are. I hope you don’t mind your eggs getting broken.
  3. I’m too good for this job. Well, you probably are. I STILL need to get this printer, so just tell me if I should get this one or that one, ring it up and I’ll be on my way. Oh, I see. You were laid off from Big A Company. Sorry to hear that. Oh, what’s that? You made three times as much as you do now for this crappy electronics store? That really sucks…hee harr, can we just ring this up?
  4. I follow the rules to the T. Usually, this one works out to your advantage. That is, until their computer systems goes wonky. Then you will be treated like the garbage from the shoe. I don’t care if the big clearing house got the hotels dates wrong. I don’t care what it says! I need to sleep! It’s midnight and I’m tired! Sleep! Now! you get, sorry ma’am, the computer says you’re checking in tomorrow. Good luck. This one will hide behind the rules until the cows come home. When the cows arrive, she’ll slap them on the hineys until they run back out.
  5. I’m too smart for this job. This sounds a lot like number 3, eh? Nope, different beast altogether. Usually number 3 has a reason, no matter how thin and flimsy it is, for thinking they are indeed better than their current position would indicate. Mr. too-smart-for-this could well have never graduated from high school. Hell, he went to the University of Hard Knocks! He doesn’t need a knucklehead like you rolling up in here, trying to bring back this item that you stole anyway! Ugh, good luck.

So, there you have it. Not a completely exhaustive list.

Oh, by the way. in order to make this blog as customer or reader friendly as possible I have reopened comments on older posts. Enjoy.

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