Worst Day Ever…DISMISSED!

Whew. Remember my worst day ever? Well, it’s over. It was still the Worst Day Ever, but at least it had a lovely conclusion. Remember how I though it was a Kharma pre-payment for my glee over my idiot ex-boss being let go the very next week? Well, I still think that is what it was. I hope we are even, Kharma.

So I’ll tell the story now. I won’t name any of the other players by their legal names. Know that everything I am about to write is the honest to goodness truth. This is not a work of fiction, though I wish it were. It may be a bit long. If it runs too long, I’ll cut into a part I and II.

February 23, 2009 ~10:00

I approached the gate area to the Edgewood area of Aberdeen Proving Ground. I had never been there before so I followed my co-worker to the visitor center. We had driven in separate vehicles, I had a large scientific instrument that we were going to demonstrate to the customer. The gate area was temporary as the entire base was, and is still, under construction. The visitor center was a small, temporary portable. I entered the small building, followed by my co-worker. There was a small space to my right and on the left was a Plexiglas window with gaps on the bottom for passing documents and small holes for the guards to talk through. I immediately saw a sign stating I would need my vehicle registration, so I turned around and went back to my vehicle to get it. When I returned to the small room, I saw my co-worker having a heated discussion with the guard/officer on duty. It appears my co-worker didn’t know the building number where we were going, only where we were going. We waited for a bit while my co-worker was able to call up the customer and get the right building number.

My co-worker talks to the officer/guard and receives his visitor pass, then it’s my turn. I hand over my Driver’s license and vehicle registration. When I am asked where I am going, I say “the same place he is,” and gesture to my co-worker. The officer/guard grunts (I swear) and begins filling out the visitor pass, then turns around to the photo copier. At this point he begins mumbling a set of complex directions to the copier (may be important, just saying). He turns to me, handing me the visitor pass and my Drivers license back. I look him in the eye and say, “excuse me?” (Something you should know about me. I have terrible hearing so I need to be able to look at people’s lips when they speak) My co-worker pipes up saying, “Don’t worry, I know where we are going.” So we leave the gate, get into out respective vehicles and go off to the building.

I get to the building, get the instrument out of my vehicle. Then go into the lab, and begin setting everything up. A few minutes pass. I am squatting on the floor (ripping my pant’s lining in the process, they are were my favorite pants but could not withstand the winter feeding, I fear). So I was already all upset, and at this point I didn’t know if it was my pant’s lining or if my pants had split. I didn’t want to take off my coat, as I thought I would be standing there in split pants. So anyway, there I am, squatting down with a split lining in my pants, fiddling with something. I hear a disembodied voice, “Is there a Pavlina here?” (Okay, the voice said my REAL name, but you all know me as Pavlina, right?) I turn around to see Officer Dufus (Not his real name) standing there, handcuffs at the ready, hand on service weapon. I think my chin hit the ground, my mouth was open so wide. My first thought was, “What the %#$%@?” I really, really, really considered making a break and running for about a millisecond. Then I closed my mouth, then re-opened and said, “That’s me.”


“You need to get all your belongings and come with me,” said Officer Dufus.

“what’s this all about?” asked my co-worker

“None of your concern, Sir,” continued Officer Dufus, then to me, “You need to come with me. You’ll be gone a LONG time.”

At this point I am CONVINCED they have got the wrong person. What on Earth could be going on? Why is this cop here getting me? What the Hell is going on?

So I said, “Ugh, all this stuff is mine,” and I gesture to the gurney with the instrument on it, my laptop bag, etc.

He turns to look at the pile o” stuff and says, “This is all yours?”

“Yes,” I say, wondering if they think I stole it or something.

“Well, all you really need is your ID.”

Page 1 of 2 | Next page